Our Natural Birth

We went well past the due date. I was due on December 8th. I was told that I would be induced on the 22nd if I didn’t go on my own.

The morning of the 19th I got up and got dressed. Sure it was cold and I had to go to the appointment to be checked on but I was in a cranky ass mood and so was the husband. Money had become such an issue because of only having one solid income and having to save every penny for the weeks I would be out on maternity with no FMLA.

You see in NYC if you aren’t employed by the same employer for 365 days you don’t get FMLA – you get disability only. Meaning instead of your salary you get $179.00 a week to live on.

I had applied for WIC and emergency food stamps for the month that I would be out of work living on the disability. I was denied any and all support regardless of being a new mom. They said my income was more than sufficient to care for my son. According to NYS $42,100 a year is enough to support a family of 5 so my income would have to suffice.

By the time we got to the doctor – I was an irrational basket case of stress and hubby was less than thrilled that we would be stuck together on a train home not talking.

When we were ignoring each other and the doctor was taking my blood pressure though, our moods had to change and fast.

“You directly to labor and delivery – your blood pressure is too high and we need to induce you now.”

If she knew that we had been cursing at each other only ten minutes before seeing her I wonder if I would have been allowed to carry without induction.

We silently walked to the Labor and Delivery ward and checked in. I was a ball of tears and emotional wreckage. The fear of being a mom finally kicked in full blast.

The nurse that checked us in hugged me and told me it would be ok. I still wish I had her name. I would have written to her to thank you for her kind words.

Mind you that I was checking in on a Monday morning. They had no room for me anywhere. It seemed like every woman in NYC was checked in and ready for their scheduled C-section. They wanted to be home with their baby on Christmas day.

I was tucked into a small triage room for the induction since they had no birthing room for me. I was stuck repeatedly until they managed to get the IV just right. I really hated those nurses since they were rude and uncaring and really I swear they stabbed me over and over again to be rude. When the doctor finally sent in her assistant, they asked if I wanted the chemical insertion to open the cervix by drug or if I would prefer the Foley Bulb.

A Foley Bulb is like a balloon in a way. They insert it into the cervix and fill it with saline slowly to force the cervix to open completely. Yes it is much more natural so I opted for it. They set the bulb up with the saline and tied the end, taping it to my inner thigh. The contractions never increased. I was miserable though. I was starving and thirsty.

I sent hubby home to get all my things at about 5PM. It wasn’t like I was going any where with a damn balloon in my hoohaa. I was finally given some apple juice and told I would be moved to my delivery room at about
8:30PM. I called home and told hubby where they would be moving me and to try to be back by then. I watched Family Guy on TBS until the doctor came in at 9:45 to tell me it was time to break my water. It was a good thing too since the boredom of waiting was irritating as all hell.

Hubby came back in the room at 10:25. By then my first real contractions were starting. I was finally seeing what other women were talking about. My bladder was leaking all over the place and I had the intense need to use the bathroom. My chubby little good for absolutely nothing nurse came in and helped me to the bathroom. I hadn’t gone in so long that the pleasure I got from going was too much. She forced me back to the bed and that was when things started to get real.

Contractions were almost 2 minutes apart and growing steadily more intense. Poor hubby thought it would be great to take a video of me every contraction which was fine. That is until he turned on a spotlight and shined it in my eyes while I was having a long steady very painful contraction. A slew of expletives left my lips – prompting him to turn off the camera.

I could tell it was show time when I felt like I was not in control and my body was pushing regardless of what I wanted to do. I told my hubby to get the chubby little good for nothing nurse and to tell her to call my doctor. He did as I asked and was very edgy pacing at that point. The contractions were definitely too close together but the pain was GONE. No excruciating, searing pain anymore. Just this uncontrollable urge to push.

When the nurse called the doctor on the phone, her tone made me curse her out. She said – and I quote – “Dr. blah blah your natural birth in room 243 CLAIMS she is ready.”

All along they tried to push the epidural on me. I refused since I knew that this was my one and only chance to experience what life and this universe had gifted me I wanted to feel every second of pain and suffering so that I could know that it was MY journey. My experience and I would be 100% coherent when my son came into the world.

When my doctor arrived she did a three second check on me and started scrambling. My son’s head was already visible and I needed him out. My birthing table had other plans though. The transformer table didn’t think I needed to have my leg held up while I pushed and broke off the table completely. My poor husband tried to help but when he saw that my poor body was trying to eject our son he turned seven shades of white and decided to just offer his hands to hold my leg up.

The doctor shoved the other leg up into the stirrup and I grabbed behind my other leg. They said let’s do a test push to see your ability to get your son out.

I gave one hell of a push on command and was screamed at to stop. His head came out immediately. His umbilical was wrapped around one time. They freed his little head and told me to push one more time and we were to hear the most amazing sound in the world. My newborn sons voice, quiet and soft, crying as he drew his first breath in the world.

My husband stood stock still as they looked him over and placed his little wet still slightly purple naked body on my chest. I never wanted to let him go but they doctor had to stitch up a small tear and that meant my son would need to be taken from me to be swaddled.

We finally had our baby boy. I gave birth to him during the Conan O’Brien encore at 12:41AM on December 20 during the performance of the Human Centipede Menorah.

Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds (Non)

Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds (Non)

These days, many mothers-to-be find themselves torn between the desire for a natural childbirth with minimal medical intervention and the peace of mind offered by instant access to life-saving technology that only a hospital can provide. In Natural Hospital Birth, doula Cynthia Gabriel asserts that there is no good reason that women in North America should not be able to have both. She shows expectant mothers what they can do to avoid unnecessary medical interventions and how to take initiative and consciously prepare for the kind of birth they want to have. Also included are inspiring stories from other women who know firsthand that natural birth in the hospital is possible. With this book, mothers-to-be will be equipped with the knowledge

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Exhaustion had no place for itself in my life at that moment. Only my son and my husband mattered to me.