Dear NYC, Signed The Angry Pregnant Lady


I just need to get this off my chest since it has been bugging the heck out of me for 2 months now. 

If you see that there is a pregnant lady standing on a subway platform do not throw yourself and your bag in front of them to jump on the train first and slam into the last open seat while glaring triumphantly at her as she grips her belly in an attempt to protect it from the idiots with elbows made of granite who mindlessly shove in order to get on the train.

If you see that while you are sitting on a train a pregnant woman is standing in front of you while you sit – don't sit there staring at their belly, attempt to ask them how far along they are and what they are having!!! How does this make sense to you?  If you are soooo concerned then GET THE F UP and GIMME YOUR DARN SEAT!!!

If you enter a train and are standing – don't think that because you are a "big strong man" that your balance is that great that you don't need to hold on to something.  No one on that train feels that having your big dumb ass fall on them with your elbox or fist landing in their face is a good thing. Shifts and changes happen on trains so you are clueless of when you are safe to float without holding on.

If you are a MAN and see a pregnant woman on the train be the gentleman and give her your seat – if it wasnt for women like her that have the courage to withstand the illness, pain and sleeplessness of pregnancy YOU WOULD NOT EXIST!!!  It should not be the 70 year old woman with a cane or walker that offers her seat.  I will ALWAYS refuse a seat offered from an older woman – She has paid her dues in this world and DESERVES that seat more than a 18-25 year old man or woman who hasn't even learned to wipe thier own butts yet.

If you are on a subway platform and truly desperate to get on a train have the common sense to NOT shove the pregnant lady trying to escape from the train backwards in order to get on!  Then call her names when she retaliates to get off the train when the doors are about to close with her still on the train.

If you are trying to run to catch a train – think before you shove a  woman down to her knees in order to get passed her.  Just because she doesnt look pregnant from behind doesnt mean that she isnt pregnant at all.  Not to mention that this behavior is simply disgusting!

If you are a cab driver barreling down the streets of Manhattan and decide to push through a light to get a fare to their destination – mind the pregnant lady in the crosswalk with the WALK sign.  Don't make them jump out of the way fearing for their life and their unborn child's life.


If you are a man walking towards a woman on the street and can clearly see that she looks like her breakfast consisted of a large beach ball fully inflated – don't feel like you can beat her to an impass and shove past her with you big gym bag so that is nails her in the stomach.  And don't get all butt hurt once she turns on you and shoves you for being a jerk while calling you a variety of names.

Be considerate on elevators people – if you see that the woman you got on after is pregnant – especially pregnant ladies – don't force them to struggle to get off the elevator on her floor by shoving yourself into the elevator and standing entirely too close and flip her attitude when she gets off after she says excue me 20 times.

And last but not least – ladies – if you are not – as you call us – "Breeders" – you do NOT have to be so obviously rude,  We are not the enemy.  Without our strength you and your counterparts would not even exist in this world.

I understand that each of us is on our own mission in life but really?  I just hope that karma and the universe pay you back in a terrible way.