Why bother with holidays when your family is so far away

My family which consisted of myself, my father and my mother has long since been gone.  My mother died from ovarian cancer when I was 20 years old and my father died just a little over a year ago. 

My brothers – if you can call them that – never wanted very much to do with me from the day I was born.  The only living relative that I am still in contact with – they has not disowned me based on the loss of both parents – is my grandmother.  She is 90 years old and has been my rock for many many years.  She always had me in mind and always looked out for me.  Over the years, I have lost all of my family – and gained a new one with the marriage to my husband.  I inherited a full family equipt with children grandchildren and everything. 

My new family, one that is equally as dysfunctional, but full of love and life, consists of myself, my husband, his 2 daughters, his son, his grandson, his mother, his 2 sisters and all their children, and his 4 brothers and all their spouses and children.  Not to mention our own little hairy children – our dogs. Oh and I can’t forget the one woman that is of no relation but is the closest thing to a sister that I can say I have had.

I sat here at work again – I looked through photos online of the family back in NYC.  I cried for at least 20 minutes just thinking about those that we have waiting for us on the east coast. When we called them on Christmas they were all happy to hear from us. They were even happier when we told them that we would be back home in a year and 6 1/2 months. His closest sister told us that the best Christmas will be the one when we are back home with them. This made us both happy but of course since I think I am more homesick then he is, I cried while he just quietly sat and smiled.

So now I sit here at work again while he is at home. Have I said that yet? It is sad that this is a holiday weekend and the most I could do for him was cook him a meal. There were no presents this year – no tree – nothing. We decided to move into a smaller cheaper apartment insead. So we will be packing and moving all our shit tonight and this whole week. And worst of all I think I need to take the day off in order to do it. I only have 2 days to finish the move in and I can barely afford the truck.

The lies will never end here in Vegas. I have taken numerous second jobs that claim that they are able to accept that I have a main job and then once I start with them they demand me fulltime and act like I am the problem – but that is another post all together.